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Team Fortress 2 vs The Crystal Gems
Prelude Teams will always work together to save the world or just for a small portion of land Interlude Wiz: To be the elite, you must surround yourself with the best of the best, whether you band together to save the world...or just a worthless plot of land. Boomsticks: The mercs of Team Fortress Wiz: and The Crystal Gems, here are the rules, they cannot get help from other people so no Saxton Hale, Mrs. Pauling, Steaven's dad, Larrs, etc. Boomsticks: And we do count the Gem Tempts as part of the Crystal Gems do to the numeber of Mercs but without further to do, He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.... Wiz: And It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win...a Death Battle. Team Fortress 2 (*Cues: Team Fortress 2 - Archimedes*) Wiz: In the year 1850, an extremely wealthy entrepreneur passed away, leaving his family land and business to his two sons. But like brothers are prone to do, they ended up fighting over each other's land right off the bat. Boomstick: This went on for decades, and then the brothers began recruiting mercenaries to literally wage war. And that's when things really got out of control. (*Cues: Team Fortress 2 - Drunken Pipe Bomb*) Wiz: Each hired gun contributed with their own specialized expertise. Scout Boomsticks: First is the Scout the Boston born merc of Team Fortress. Wiz: Born along 7 older brother, the boy named Jeremy grew up with his mother and whose father left him who was the same team Spy. Boomsticks: He then wantedto help his brothers so he ran and ran until he was fast enought to keep up and faster than all of them. Wiz: The scout then joined the merc's earning mone, showing his ego, and fighting other mercs. Scout:' 'Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha'- [pokes the camera] I hurt people. Boomsticks: The Scout's main weapon of choice is the Scattergun, which is basically a more small and mobile Shotgun. Wiz: He also comes with a pistol for long ranged and in case of an emergency. He also has a drink called Bonk-Atomic-Punch a radioactive drink that makes Scout invincible for 8 seconds. Boomsticks: He also has a butcher's knife called the Flying Guillatine which he just throws like yolo and when it hits, it makes people bleed to death. Also he also got mad milk which allows his allies to do crits when they hit the person covered in it. What is it though rotton milk or c**. Wiz:... but any ways he also comes with a bat along with a baseball to stun opponants. Boomsticks: He is able to hit send people flying with a swing of a baseball bat and send them on the other side of 2Fort. Kill a bear in a hot dog suit and Amelia Airhearts bones, fight and handle blow with a giant bread monster, survive an onslaught of three rockets, and even take on merc's such as Heavy and Soldier. Wiz: However his ego is what his weakness, he mostly get distracted and he often gets in trouble, also he has no armor on and he is weak in defense, plus he lack disapline. Boomsticks: But still it's hard to kill that's faster than you Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! [The Spy's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The Spy taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Scout of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go... [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the Spy.] Screw you, though... Soldier Wiz: Born in america Jane Doe was american soldier that wanted to join World War 2. Boomsticks: But the US was like nah screw you, so he bought a ticket went to america and went on a Nazi killing spree just like my grand pappy Boomstick did. Wiz: Jane then went on to be a merc and was called the Soldier. Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you? Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. Scout: Well that's a funny story... [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.] Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase! brandishes a BLU briefcase '' Boomsticks: The Soldier uses an RPG as his choice of weapon. He could blast people to smetherines or just freaking rocket jump with it. I wish i could do that. Wiz: He also uses a shotgun for in case of trouble like running out of ammo and for light attacks, a parachute for landing down safe;y, and gun boots for harming people and squishing them with he lands. Boomsticks: He also weilds a shovel for digging his way out and for market gardening. Wiz: He's been naked and covered and honey and killed a ton of robots and snap a bear's neck, he is also immortal for taking Merasmus's immortal pills thinking it was heart medicine, took blows from explosions form other Soldiers and Demoman, survive getting his back broken from a yeti, and also blows from Merasmus as well. Boomsticks: But he is a really strict guy sometimes, he just loves to teleport bread and he also can be stupid in sometimes like teleporting a ton of bread which created a bread monster, and his insanity also sometimes does lead him to some situations including death. ''' '''Soldier: "C'mere, cupcake" Soldier uses Kamikaze. ' '*Explosions" Wiz: But this rocket weilding soldier will not go down without a fight, and will fight for his country Soldier: [Laughs to himself] "And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a '''zoo!"' '[Crickets chirp as the 'recruits' are revealed to be the gibbed heads of BLU team members perched on a gate, all wearing BLU Soldier helmets. The Medic's head falls off the gate.]' '[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]' '''Soldier:' [To the Medic's head] "Unless it's a farm!" Pyro Wiz: With an unknown origin, the Pyro is one of the most pyschotic merc out out all of the TF2 mercs. Boomsticks: But he also is one of my favorite character to play as with that god d**n flathrower! Wiz: Engineer Heavy Demoman Medic Sniper Spy Crystal Gems Steven Garnet Amethyst Pearl Peridot Lion Connie Pumpkin Lapis Lazuli Pre Death Battle Death Battle Results Next Time on Death Battle ???: Killer Queen is what I named it ???: Welcome to my Land b*tch Yoshikage Kira vs Freddy Kreuger Who you rooting for Team Fortress 2 The Crystal Gems Who wins Team Fortress 2 The Crystal Gems Which is a better theme TF2 Main Theme We are the Crystal Gems Category:'Video Games vs TV Shows' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Bendy usser444 Category:Abandoned What-If? Death Battles